The Elevator Incident
by Metisse
Summary: A somewhat humorous look at what happens when Bobby and Alex find themselves trapped in an elevator with Captain Ross. Oneshot


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, Dick Wolf owns everything.**

_A/N: I've been writing such downer stuff lately that I thought I'd throw in a lighter one-shot to keep me from getting depressed. LOL_

**The Elevator Incident**

It had been a long day and Bobby was tired. He looked over at his partner and she looked like she was half asleep, trying to finish up a report. It was amazing how paperwork seemed to be more exhausting than being out in the field investigating a case.

Half an hour later, Alex looked up triumphantly, "Done!" She tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ears and closed the last file on her desk, beaming at her partner.

Bobby smiled, "Great! Only five more to go tomorrow then." He tapped the stack of files on his desk.

"Oh no, that's_ your _half! What have you been doing all day?" her golden brown eyes darkened as she glared at Bobby.

_Admiring you. I love the way you chew on your bottom lip when you're concentrating. _ Bobby shrugged, "I don't work as quickly as you do." He gave Alex that smile that he knew would win him forgiveness for most any transgression.

Rolling her eyes, Alex shook her head. "This is really getting to be a bad habit with you, Goren. I'll just bring a good book to read tomorrow and you can finish those reports yourself," she said with just enough annoyance to sound convincing to anyone else but Bobby.

"How about I buy you dinner and you help me finish these tomorrow?" Bobby asked as they both got up to leave. He was looking at Alex with what she called his 'lost puppy dog' look.

_Great, it's the 'yes I know I screwed up but please don't be mad at me' look._ Alex shrugged, "It depends," she said simply as they headed to the elevator.

"Depends on what?"

"Where were you planning to take me for dinner?" Alex pressed the down button and looked up at her partner who was now grinning at her. "And that grin better not mean some place where the food is still alive in the bowl."

Bobby chuckled, "Of course not. Those dinners are for when you have to make something up to me instead of the other way around."

"Good, then I probably won't ever have to worry about it."

"Hey, I can think of a few incidents..." Bobby began, feeling slightly indignant.

"Don't push it, Bobby," Alex replied as they stepped into the elevator.

_Right, I'm in the dog house, don't push it...hmm...maybe I can get out of the dog house faster if... _"Well, would it make a difference if I told you the real reason I didn't get much work done today?"

Just before the elevator doors could close, an arm shot through. As the doors opened again, in walked the Captain. Danny Ross nodded at his two detectives, "Good evening, detectives."

Bobby and Alex exchanged glances behind his back.

"Don't let me interupt your conversation," Ross said with a smile on his face. "Regardless of whether or not Eames would like to hear the real reason you didn't get much work done, I'm certainly interested."

Bobby swallowed nervously, "Uh...well, I was just...um...it actually was...was a joke, sort of..."

"Oh? Well, don't let me stop you," Ross said, smiling at Bobby like a lion toying with its prey.

_I knew I should have waited to say anything until we left the building._ "It wasn't...really...well..." Bobby's nervous stammer was interupted by an abrupt stop of the elevator.

"Damn it!" Ross exclaimed. "They told me this had been fixed this afternoon!"

Earlier that day, Ross had been stuck in the elevator for about half an hour. Apparently he was the elevator's second victim that day. Maintenance had looked into it and declared it fixed at 3 o'clock that afternoon. Glancing at his watch, Ross scowled as he then grabbed the elevator's emergency phone to call maintenance once again.

Bobby nervously licked his lips and glanced over at Alex who appeared annoyed but otherwise quite calm. He didn't mind elevators as a general rule of thumb but being stuck in small spaces for an extended period of time made him nervous and twitchy - more twitchy than usual, that is. And of course being stuck in the elevator with his Captain, a man who at times seemed to exist for the sole purpose of making Bobby's life miserable, was not helping the situation at all.

Out of the corner of her eye Alex could see her 6'4" giant of a partner starting to fidget nervously. She had suspected he might have had a mild form of claustrophobia but it didn't seem to interfere with his ability to function so she never gave it much thought, other than making a mental note of it.

"Yes, this is Captain Ross from Major Case _again. _ It seems car three hasn't been fixed after all," Ross growled into the phone. He had to pick up his boys at 6:30 that evening and if he was late, his ex would be reaming him a new one. He had been late the last three times and he finally thought things would work out tonight.

_"Sorry about this sir, we'll try and get you out and close it down again for repair."_

"Try? How long is this attempt going to take?" Ross asked, trying to keep his annoyance in check. He certainly didn't need to have them take longer because the maintenance guys got angry at him.

_"Hopefully just a few minutes, sir."_

"Fine. Just let me know if it's going to take longer than twenty minutes otherwise I'll have to make some calls."

_"Of course, we're looking at no more than five, I'm sure." _

"Thank you," Ross replied, trying his best to sound like he was actually thankful and not doubtful. That was the same thing they told him the first time. He hung up the phone and turned to face his two detectives and then realized that being late to pick up his sons wasn't going to be his only reason for desiring a timely resolution of his current predicament.

Bobby had removed his tie and was rubbing the back of his neck. Ross could see beads of perspiration on Bobby's forehead and glancing at Alex, he could see concern etched on her face. _Great, Mr. Twitchy under the best circumstances seems to have a problem being stuck in close spaces. Just what I needed. I should have taken the next elevator instead of wanting to bust his balls about that comment about not getting much work done._

"Is he claustrophobic?" Ross asked Alex as he kept his eye on Bobby.

Before Alex could answer, Bobby glared at Ross in agitation, "You know, I'm right here! You ...you could ask me instead of...of Eames. It's...it's more annoying...to be talked about like...like I'm not even here than...than to be nervous...about being stuck in...here." Bobby wanted to pace but there wasn't enough room. It made him even more twitchy and now he was feeling slightly nauseated.

"So you're telling me you're not claustrophobic?" Ross asked looking at Bobby with concern. _Okay so if Goren goes nuts in here, what the hell am I going to do?__Hope between Eames and myself we can knock him down and what? Sit on him?_

"I'm...I'm fine in close spaces if...for short periods of time." Trying to remain calm, Bobby closed his eyes and tried to regain his composure. _I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm not alone, Alex is here, and soon the elevator will start moving again and in an hour we'll be laughing about this...I hope._ He leaned against the back wall of the elevator and closed his eyes.

_This is my worst nightmare...stuck in an elevator with Bobby and Ross...please dear God just kill me now and put me out of my misery. _Taking a deep breath, Alex tried to get Ross to leave Bobby alone. "So, did they say it's going to take 20 minutes?" After the words escaped her mouth, Alex wanted to kick herself as she noticed Bobby's grip tighten around his binder as he clutched it to his chest like it was a life saver.

_Alex is trying to kill me. She must really be angry about the paperwork. _Bobby swallowed hard as his mouth began to water from the nausea that had started creeping up on him. _No, no, no! I can't be sick!_

Glancing at Alex but keeping his eyes on Bobby, Ross tried to sound positive in his reply, "They said they should have us out in about five minutes. I'm sure we'll be on our way in no time."

Bobby opened his eyes and saw Ross trying to smile reassuringly. _Liar! He was bitching this afternoon that they told him it would be five minutes and it ended up being half an hour. And now he's smiling like a psychotic version of the Cheshire cat. _ All he could manage without having the urge to throw up overwhelm him, was a nod. He closed his eyes again started taking deep breaths. It calmed him and the nausea he was feeling abated somewhat.

An awkward silence descended on them as they stood waiting. After five minutes had passed Bobby sank down to the floor, still clutching his binder tightly to him.

"It shouldn't be too much longer now," Ross said without much conviction. He was still concerned about Bobby but was uncertain about what to do to distract him.

Before anyone could say anything else, the elevator moved slightly and halted abruptly again.

Bobby's eyes flew open and he looked up at Alex and Ross with a panic stricken stare. "What...is it possible...they could...I mean...could they..."

"Don't worry, Detective, I don't think the cable will break," Ross said, trying to be reassuring.

Bobby's eyes opened even wider as he blinked several times. "I...that's not what I...was thinking." _But thanks for the idea, asshole. Now I have another thing to worry about._

Alex sat down next to Bobby. "It's okay, Bobby, in an hour or so we'll be laughing about this whole thing." She patted his arm and smiled.

Bobby nodded and managed a small smile for Alex. _If Ross wasn't here I could rest my head on her shoulder. Reason number 25 for not liking Ross._

Suddenly the phone rang. Ross answered it before it even stopped ringing the first time, "Okay, so what's going on?"

_"Sorry about the jolt, Captain Ross. It shouldn't be too much longer."_

"Great," Ross said without even trying to disguise the irritation he was feeling. "Just get us out of here." He slammed the phone down and muttered to himself under his breath. He turned to see Alex and Bobby watching him. _Great, now I look like the crazy one._

"Is it going to take longer than twenty minutes?" Alex asked, hoping that isn't what they were calling to say.

Ross shook his head, "No, they were calling to apologize for the jolt. I'd rather they spend the time actually trying to fix the problem."

Bobby rolled his eyes but said nothing.

When he looked back on the situation later, Ross couldn't figure out what prompted him to say what he did because in retrospect it was just asking for trouble. However, a combination of being stressed over being late to pick up his children, the frustration of dealing with the maintenance crew and being stuck in an elevator with the one detective on his squad who made him the most nervous finally got the better of him.

"So, you never did say why you didn't get much work done today." Ross looked expectantly at Bobby.

"No, I didn't," Bobby replied tersely, closing his eyes again.

"Well?" Ross pressed. Having Bobby roll his eyes at him didn't help Ross' mood at all and now he just wanted to take out his frustrations on someone and unfortunately, Bobby was the closest target.

Opening his eyes and glaring at his Captain, Bobby was in no mood to be toyed with. "I wasn't speaking to you, I was speaking to Eames."

"Okay, then would you tell me exactly what work you didn't get done today?" Ross continued down his suicidal path.

"No," Bobby replied simply as he returned Ross' icy stare with a more hostile one.

"No you can't or no you won't?" Ross was now only adding to his own agitation but he felt an uncontrollable urge to annoy Bobby as much as he had annoyed him in the past year.

"The latter." At this point Bobby was no longer stressed over being stuck in an close space. He was getting angry with his Captain.

Alex laughed nervously, "He was just joking, Captain." _Okay, dear God, never mind about killing me now, please kill the Captain now and put him out of our misery. What is wrong with him?_

"Ah, a joke. Either of you two care to let me in on it? It seems we might be here a long time and I could use a good laugh." Ross looked at his two detectives and once again was struck by the thought that they were such an oddly matched pair and yet they worked incredibly well together. How sensible and down to earth Eames managed to deal with and even enjoy working with the unpredictable and the more outrageous than not Goren was beyond him. He respected Bobby's abilities but to have to work with him day in and day out as closely as Eames had to would have pushed Ross into psychological counseling.

"No," Bobby replied before Alex could say anything. "What the hell is your problem anyway?" he blurted out as he stood up to face Ross, who was still smirking at him. All signs of his claustrophobia seemed to vanish as he took a step towards Ross.

Alex stood up immediately after him and stepped in between the two men. "You know, this is not the best place to have a pissing contest." She put her hand on Bobby's chest and gave him a warning look.

"Then tell him to shut-up and stop harassing me." Bobby grumbled.

"I'm right here, Detective, and I understand English so Eames doesn't have to translate for me," Ross threw out, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Fine. Shut-up and stop harassing me!" Bobby yelled.

"Knock it off! Both of you!" Alex yelled in turn. She looked at Bobby and then at Ross who looked at her with a mock wide-eyed innocence.

"I'm just trying to make conversation, Detective Eames. And you should remember that you are addressing your Captain." Ross crossed his arms in front of him and leaned back against the wall.

"Don't you drag her into this!" Bobby was livid at this point. Ross harassing him was one thing but he didn't want him including Alex in his little torture session.

"Like I said, I was just trying to make conversation. It's not my fault you seem to have a guilty conscience that seems to be preventing you from answering a simple question." Once again, Ross smirked.

_I'm going to wipe that smirk right off his face. _Bobby started to take a step forward when he felt Alex place both hands on his chest and push him back.

"You! Get back in your corner!" Alex yelled at Bobby and pointed to the opposite corner of he elevator from where Ross now stood. Before Bobby could say anything in protest, Alex turned to her Captain, placed her hands on her hips and glared for all she was worth. "And you! Stop trying to bait him!"

"Detective, you..." Ross began in his most authoritative voice. Just because he liked Eames didn't mean he would put up with being lectured by one of his detectives.

"Yea, yea, I know, you're my Captain. So start acting like a responsible adult and I'll start treating you like you're my Captain again." Alex was really angry. She was hungry, tired and fed up with being caught in the middle of a conflict between two alpha males looking for a fight. _Maybe Ross will suspend me for being insubordinate. I could really use the break._

Before Ross or Bobby could say or do anything, the elevator started moving and the emergency phone rang at the same time.

Ross answered it curtly, "What?"

_"Ah...we've fixed the problem for now, sir." _

"Really? Thanks for informing me of the obvious," Ross growled and hung up the phone without waiting for a response. He turned to face Alex who was still standing there with her hands on her hips and giving him that look that probably frightened even the most hardened criminals. _And I thought Goren was frightening when he's mad. _ "Did you have more to add, Detective?"

Taking a deep breath, Alex shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her. _I really don't want to be suspended for more than a few days._

Standing behind her, Bobby was still glaring at Ross but said nothing as Ross looked at him as well.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Two men from building maintenance stood there looking at them apologetically.

They all stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby of 1PP with Ross in the lead. Turning to face Bobby and Alex who were now looking at him nervously, he smiled. "Well, enlightening and somewhat entertaining."

Bobby and Alex exchanged nervous glances.

"Are we going to be suspended, sir?" Alex asked.

Ross chuckled, "Not at all. At least I got your attention off of being trapped in an elevator."

"No way you did that on purpose," Bobby grumbled.

Ross shrugged, "Believe what you want. Besides, I already knew why you didn't get much work done today."

Bobby blinked, "You...you do?" he said nervously.

"Seems you were more interested in what your partner was doing than in your own work," Ross said, watching Bobby's face turning red. _Gotcha! Goren is speechless, I have to remember this for future reference. _ "While it's been a most interesting evening so far, I have to go pick up my kids so I'll see you both tomorrow."

Bobby and Alex watched Ross walk off, both of them left speechless by his final comments.

After Ross disappeared from sight, Alex turned to Bobby. "You were watching me work?"

"Um...well...not exactly," Bobby replied, staring at his shoes. "I...you were just...I kept...well, yea."

Alex chuckled, "This dinner better be really good."

Bobby smiled, "Well, considering I owe you for stepping in on my behalf..."

"Don't go there because as many times as I've had to step in between you and Ross, you'll be buying me dinner for the rest of your life."

"That would be fine by me," Bobby replied as Alex linked her arm through his as they headed towards the parking garage. All in all, this was turning out to be a better day than he thought. _Maybe Ross isn't all that bad after all..._

THE END


End file.
